I have started two or three blogs recently, but everything I start to write about seems incredibly trivial compared to what's happening in the world right now. There is all sorts of stuff going on with me, as usual, but how can I write about my own bullshit when the rains are coming down and leaving people homeless and more destitute than they were, and when we live in a time that our world leaders still think it's appropriate to kill our mother's sons and other country's mother's sons in war? It's mind-boggling.
Tonight I watched Rosemary's Baby for the millionth time. It's one of my all time favorite movies. I love the ‘60's style of it--Mia Farrow with her big eyes and her Vidal Sassoon haircut and super-short maternity dresses—I have been known to wear such dresses while shouting "I won't let them take you, little Andy or Jenny!", to much eye-rolling from my sister. And I love the dark humor of Ruth Gordon's character and how terrifying a story can be without blood and gore spattered all over the screen. I could watch it a million more times and still be interested.
And the movie got me thinking about the banality of evil.
For the two percent of you who haven't seen it, the villains in the movie are not slavering perverts or even diabolical masterminds. They are ordinary, grocery-shopping, carpet-vacuuming, making phone calls and going to the movies kind of people. And Rosemary's husband doesn't betray her because he loves the devil. He doesn't give a shit about the devil. He betrays her because he's a bit greedy and is able to talk himself into believing that it's really not that bad to sell your wife's womb to get a little further in life. I think that's absolutely genius, because that's how real evil works a lot of the time, in increments of denial and in those excuses we make to ourselves to justify our bad deeds. Evil resides in the lies we tell ourselves, and evil sometimes lies more in what we don't do than what we do. Evil is just darkness, and darkness is just the lack of light.
So that made me think about Bush and his crew, and all the people behind the scenes that we don't even know about that have all kinds of power to make decisions that harm our economy and our planet and our children and our poor and our middle class and our neighboring countries. I'm sure that there is no maniacal laughter in their offices behind closed doors, and I'm pretty sure that there are a lot of personal and political justifications for all the decisions being made or not made. I think there is a whole coven of people in power right now that believe their own bullshit because to not do so would be to face the possibility of letting go of all the pretty power and money that they are so attached to.
There is a major shift happening right now, both spiritually and planetarily. Unfortunately I don't consider myself qualified to explain it in detail, but I would like to tell you that it is huge. Just do some googling with the words “planetary shift” or “spiritual shift” or planetary spiritual shift” and you will find all kinds of stuff that will blow your mind.
I am feeling it in all aspects of my life, and I will write a blog about my own personal changes sometime for those who are interested. I will also go so far to say that you need to get on board with this shift or get left behind. Meaning, that in this time of change it is imperative to stop making excuses, to lay aside petty bullshit and to start operating from a place of love. By this I mean: love for yourself both physically and emotionally—stop playing Vice City for hours on end and go take a walk around the block, stop allowing anyone or anything into your life that isn't good to you; love for the people around you—a modicum of kindness to even the annoying ones you don't know (and yes, this is an extremely difficult one for a misanthrope like me!); love for the environment and the animals—throw the fucking plastic bottle in a recycle bin and choose the veggie burger once in a while; and love and appreciation for every tiny gift of a kind gesture or happy moment that comes your way. Because frankly, every day that we are not swimming in toxic water past our destroyed houses, or burying our brothers, sisters, sons, daughters, wives or husbands is a day to be grateful for, and to squander what we have and are given each day is maybe an extravagance that leads to that banal and most deadly, permeating darkness that is so prevalent around us today.
There are many who believe that Bush came into power to bring all the darkness that has been roiling under the surface of the old boy network and this country's political and corporate systems for decades to the forefront to be cleansed. I certainly hope this is true. I have also read that the more energy of hatred we send to him the more it clouds him in the purpose that he came into this particular incarnation to fill. I know it's pretty hard not to hate him right now, so I am just praying that if he is the catalyst to a new kind of truth that he can get on with his damn destiny as quickly as possible.
I keep thinking about Cindy Sheehan and how ballsy she has been. I read an article in People (don't judge--how else am I going to keep up with Brangelina and Jen??) in which her husband and family complained that she was dishonoring her son's memory by not sitting at home like a good wife and mourning quietly while making dinner and cleaning the house like she always did. These are my words, of course, not theirs (but it's my blog so I'll paraphrase to suit my own needs). I thought, what it must be taking her to do this in the face of such rejection and disapproval from the people she has built her whole life around. Her insistence on demanding the truth and being true to her own anger and feelings has been such a catalyst for so many people, and shows that any single one of us can be a force against the tide. This, my friends, is bringing light into the darkness.
So do me a favor and read up on the shift if you're interested, and rent Roman Polanski's brilliant movie if you haven't seen it, and continue to do your best to be the beacon of light that you are in this time of raging storms and the ordinary men of evil. It is imperative.
I will continue to try as well. I think I should do okay for tonight if I don't go outside and get all raged up against the teeming interlopers veering drunkenly down Avenue A on this (and every) Friday night. I will be the first to admit that sometimes it's easier to send love and light from a nice, safe distance.