Thursday, May 24, 2007

He Hit Me and It Felt Like an Orgasmatron

As I type there is a photo shoot going on outside the (open) office door. Madonna is on full blast (of course) and teenage heads on sticks are blowing cigarette smoke in each other's faces while flashbulbs go off and the gays wave jazz hands and shout "Work!". Luckily the delightful and equally as bitter as myself Ms. Sophia Lamar and Ms. Codie Ravioli are sitting next to me in full regalia waiting for their turn in the spotlight, so I have someone to commiserate with.

Lordy, do I hate Madonna and fashion photo shoots. How did I get here? And whoa, what am I doing in this handbasket??


Anyhoo, just what's in my fevered brain today—


One, as mentioned before, I am a Court TV addict, and recently have been watching Phil Spector's trial with much interest. In case you've been living under a rock, Mr. Spector, long notorious for waving guns and abusing women, is charged with shooting a woman in his home. Her name was Lana Clarkson and he met her at the House of Blues and brought her home.

The theory is that when she decided it was time to leave he got belligerent and waved a gun around and finally shot her. He's claiming that Lana committed suicide even though his limo driver swore in court that Spector came out of the house and said, "I think I've just killed someone." He also never called 911 and cursed the dead woman out as he was cuffed, tasered, and taken away.

What a douchebag that guy is. In the immortal words of Ms. Nancy Grace, he should fry! But seriously, it's stunning to watch the story unfold and see how little understanding he has of how absolutely selfish he's been his entire life. I think a little down time as someone's bitch in prison might be just the lesson the horrid, evil little twink deserves.


This morning they had La La Brooks on as a guest. La La was one of the original members of the Crystals, their two big songs were "Da Doo Run Run" and "Then He Kissed Me". They had six songs in the top twenty in 1962 & 1963 and also did the infamous "He Hit Me (And It Felt Like a Kiss)". She was 13 when she started with the group and she doesn't see a dime from any of the songs she sang. So every time he puts out a new compilation album with music from the Crystals, she has to walk into a record store, hear the music being played, and find a way to live with the fact that the nasty man who used her when she was a teenager is still making large profits off of her work. I can't imagine how disheartening that must be.


LaLa was asked for her thoughts and she said that she tries very hard not to be angry and bitter. And she did sound very positive. She's performing in NYC soon, she looked beautiful and seemed to have a good head about everything. But what she did say was that she resents that every penny that should be hers is going to pay for his defense. She's currently in legal wrangling to try to get what's due her, and I certainly hope that both parties get what is due them in court.


And secondly, Orgasmatron came on the ipod shuffle this morning and I was once again struck by how great this song is. I know from personal experience that Lemmy, a history and war buff, is very proud of it, and well he should be. The lyrics are just as appropriate now as ever considering our political climate, and it just sounds pretty fucking amazing. I suggest everyone go listen to it immediately, volume knob on 11.


I am the one, Orgasmatron, the outstretched grasping hand
My image is of agony, my servants rape the land
Obsequious and arrogant, clandestine and vain
Two thousand years of misery, of torture in my name
Hypocrisy made paramount, paranoia the law
My name is called religion, sadistic, sacred whore.


I twist the truth, I rule the world, my crown is called deceit
I am the emperor of lies, you grovel at my feet
I rob you and I slaughter you, your downfall is my gain
And still you play the sycophant and revel in you pain
And all my promises are lies, all my love is hate
I am the politician, and I decide your fate


I march before a martyred world, an army for the fight
I speak of great heroic days, of victory and might
I hold a banner drenched in blood, I urge you to be brave
I lead you to your destiny, I lead you to your grave
Your bones will build my palaces, your eyes will stud my crown
For I am Mars, the god of War, and I will cut you down.

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