Wednesday, April 30, 2008

Yet Another Day in the Life

So I get a call from my esthetician friend MAYUMI who tells me her salon needs a pale woman who likes being pale for a special facial that will be filmed for television. She tells me it is a "brightening" facial and she knows I'll be perfect for it.

Now, I am all about free facials, especially fancy ones that would ordinarily cost me serious cash. So of course I say yes, and inform the office that I will be leaving in the middle of the day to get a facial on TV, and that I am hoping whatever gets filmed won't get aired too prominently as I am not that keen on been seen on film with no makeup and stuff smeared all over my face.

So I get the preliminary email from this very lovely Japanese salon, of which this is an excerpt:

All-Natural Geisha Facial Cleanses and Brightens, with an Unusual Japanese Ingredient

NEW YORK, New York – Beautiful, educated and skilled in the arts of music and dance, Geisha were the true renaissance women of ancient Japanese society. At Manhattan's Shizuka New York Day Spa (7 W 51st Street), Shizuka Bernstein has introduced her latest innovation, a facial that unlocks the secrets of Geisha beauty. The Geisha Facial ($180, 50 min.) uses traditional and natural Japanese ingredients to soften, brighten and nourish the complexion. The most crucial ingredient in this unique facial treatment is Uguisu no Fun (powdered nightingale droppings), once a secret known only to traditional Kabuki actors and the Geisha themselves.

Did you get that? POWDERED NIGHTINGALE DROPPINGS. Yes, that's right, people. Tomorrow someone will be smearing bird poop on my face. BIRD POOP.

Seriously, this is so typical of the way my life works. I get a free facial but it involves animal feces. And yet, anything for beauty, my friends, anything for beauty.

On the upside, I just heard from DONNA that there is a photo of CSFH up at the new Bob Gruen show at the Morrison Gallery, located in the old CB's gallery space at 313 Bowery. I haven't see it yet because they close right before I get out of work, but I know for a fact that no bird poop was used to create that glamour, just a ton of alcohol and some cheap black-eyeliner.


UPDATE MAY 2, 2008:


I'm very sorry to say that the television interview was cancelled, thus no free bird poop facial until they're ready to reschedule. Sigh...I will keep you all posted.

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