Saturday, April 23, 2011

Gallows Humor

DREW: the wake when that woman came up to me and said she wanted to come to one of my gigs?

ME: Yes.

DREW: After that she kept following me around and talking about coming to the city to see a show.

ME: Are you serious? Like hitting on you? At your dad's wake??

DREW: I think so. It was weird. She wouldn't leave me alone. I was terrified you would notice.

ME: I did notice that she was sort of hitting on you that once but I thought I was being paranoid. I also noticed that she had disproportionately fat calves.

DREW: Did she? I didn't see that, I kept running away. It was freaking me out!

ME: How dare she? I will knock that cankled bitch right out.

DREW: I know! That's why I was scared! People flying, the coffin falling over. My sister screaming.

ME: Well, she did say she wanted to see your dad one more time.

DREW: Ha! Right? Dad on the ground, flowers everywhere, kids scarred for life...It just would not be good. 

ME: I can't believe you were able to hide that from me! Although honestly, with those legs she's gotta be really solid on her feet, so she can probably handle herself in a funeral brawl.

DREW: Yeah...low center of gravity.

ME: Exactly.

DREW: We are horrible people. 

ME: I know, Honey.


Dano said...

Jersey Shore - affecting humanity for the better.

rustynbirch said...

You guys are so fucking perfect together - it's scary.
luv, Rustyn a.k.a. the Ayatollah Of Rock 'n ' Rolla