DREW: Do you like the boots I bought you?
ME: Yes, they're gorgeous, thank you. I'm psyched.
DREW: And dinner at Blue Ribbon, that was pretty good, right?
ME: Yes, it was amazing, thank you. I loved it.
DREW: And I'm not hungover, I had two beers at work last night, that's it.
ME: I know, you seemed very sober when you came in
DREW: And look, I'm cooking things in the microwave on a plate, like you asked me over and over again, instead of on a paper towel.
ME: That is fabulous! Words cannot describe how happy that makes me.
DREW: It's Drew point 0 for 2012. More awesomeness than ever.
ME: You were awesome before, but now it looks like you might be perfect.
DREW: I know! I am! I don't think I can get any better. This is it, I've reached my apex as a boyfriend. The sad thing is that I can only go down from here.
ME: Wow. Well, you're just going to have to maintain. It's all about maintenance now, you don't have to struggle to go up anymore.
DREW: Totally! But it's exhausting being so good. I need a nap. Which is a shame because I just made the bed.
ME: Perfection does have its price.
DREW (from the bedroom): Drew point 0, bitches!